OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
