I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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