I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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