Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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