Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
