Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
