i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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