I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
