Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
