In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
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