It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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