Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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