I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
