I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
