She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
