Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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