im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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