he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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