So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
