Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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