Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
