I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
