If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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