Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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