Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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