So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
