He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
