Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
porn star boner night. come get it.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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