Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
