I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
