This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He shit in the fireplace
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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