Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
