38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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