there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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