Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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