ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
