i need an iv and a liver transplant
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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