I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
