i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
