I am spending my child support on dildos
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
