Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
