So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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