there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
