I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
