two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
