bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
