i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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