True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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