this boner is exhausting
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
