then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
