i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
