my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
