I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
